Nov 04
The scientific name for the Turkey Vulture is CATHARTES AURA which means GOLDEN PURIFIER because as it goes about it’s lifetime business it purifies the landscape and environment in it’s own natural way, ensuring the continued health and life of other living things. The Vulture is a promise that all hardship was temporary and necessary for a higher purpose. Once a Vulture enters your life as a totem or guide, it will remain with you for life. Ted Andrews, Animal Speak
Sep 19
Are you stuck in the self sufficiency mode, are you preventing your tribe from working with you. You will always be an individual, but remember the power in sharing with your tribe. .
Jun 26
On May 9th of this year we took cat to the vets, he was dying, he had stopped eating, he had started lying under the furniture instead of wanting to be on top, there was no more king of the domain, he was slipping away.
Per the vet he would be started immediately on insulin injections twice a day, fluids, an x-ray, surgery after an ultrasound, then an extended stay in the clinic. This was about cats last days of life, which I knew in my heart were not meant to be spent in a sterile environment of strangers.
Cat belongs to my daughter Siegrid, she is currently with Jason, my son in law and grandsons where they are stationed in South Korea, I called her, it was 3am in SK, and we had to make a decision about Cat. Everyone was crying, Cat was only 13, how could this be. Siegrid found him newly born, wet and crying on a sidewalk in Texas, brought him into her home and raised him from day one. He had moved around the country with her always adapting to his new homes, owning the neighborhoods.
We cried, our hearts ached but we decided to allow him to transition. I told the vet we were not going to do the insulin, no surgery; I was going to take him home. She didn’t understand, she was ready to euthanize him. I said no, Cat and I knew what needed to be done and he was coming home with me.
I was left with an overwhelming sadness that there was no hope; I took Cat home to die. I was beside myself with grief, Cat was calm, he meowed at the door and asked to go out, and I let him out. I knew he was going to go into the woods and lay down, I probably wouldn’t find him, nor see him again. I left him alone until dusk then I went outside calling for him. He appeared out of nowhere, I didn’t hear him walking through the grass, at that point I started calling him the ghost cat. He came in for the night sleeping under the table. The next day the same thing, outside for the day, I called at dusk but he didn’t come this time, I started looking for him, I found him under a skunk cabbage next to the stream. I brought him in for the night; we were in the middle of some cold and rainy nights. The third day cat moved to another part of the stream, again I brought him in. The next day it was cold and rainy so we sat together in a chair. The vet called to let me know the radiologist saw a blockage, she would skip the $450.00 ultrasound and do exploratory surgery for a $1000.00. She said because of his age she was 75% sure she would have to euthanize him after the surgery. I said no, we will get through this, Cat and I together. She asked me to bring him in to the clinic anytime and she would euthanize him.
I told cat I wanted him to live, wow was I being selfish, I told him there was so much we needed to do together, to learn from each other, why did he need to leave right now when everyone that wants to see him one last time are so far away.
He would drink fresh water every day, food he wasn’t interested in as I watched him grow thinner and thinner. I started the BioEnergy work with him, the first session he couldn’t figure out what he was feeling, by the fourth session he was looking forward to our energy connection. I would sit with him after the energy session and connect with him, thinking the way he was thinking, so calm and so patient. No fear, an understanding that his body was shifting, peacefully watching from the chair as the world went on.
We needed this time, pure love that comes from the heart. I sat with him with all my attention/intentions to listen to him, to understand, to enjoy the way he loves being petted under the chin, to enjoy the way he doesn’t like being petted anywhere else. To know that when I am petting him today it is more important than the computer or work I should be doing, the computer/work will be there tomorrow but today may be the last day I share a loving intimate moment with Cat. When I walk by the chair and he isn’t there I will know /remember how we used to sit together. I love Cat, I love that he is a cat and not a cat personified into a human personality, it was very hard at first, but as I watch him he is teaching me so much; how to let go, how to love him just the way he is and to allow him this natural process. He has held steady to who he is, dignified.
Our heart to heart connection and BioEnergy have created a miracle in my world; today is day 47, Cat continues to thrive, and he has caught his first mouse and ate half of it, leaving the other half for me under the dining room table. He had an off day where he was lying around more than usual, I went to check on him and found he took a small bag of catnip off the table and was rolling around in it, and had consumed a good part of it!
We sit on the couch every evening after dinner, where we exchange healing energy, loving each other.
Jun 23
by the Scribe
A symbolic fictional story about the kundalini Rising inside all of us.
Once upon a time, in a far away land, a dragon was formed. This dragon was a creative aspect of you because, energetically, you are a serpent of life. You are the womb of all creation. You were born from the egg. You are destined to be the fire breather, as the raging beast that you are.
Sometimes the energetic part of you resides in the ruptured mounds of your heart cave, sleeping and lying dormant. This is because you can exhibit self-contempt and laziness, hiding like a hermit in your cave, dreaming of all things. But when the day is finally sunny, the kisses of gold parades throughout your cave, tempting your dragon eyes open, and then everything changes.
The rays warm your mystical little scaly potbelly and in one moment, the dragon of you decides to waddle outside and greet this merry light, whether to scowl or embrace that light.
The sun directly warms your whole body and melts the chill coming from the cave. This light makes you feel rejuvenated and you dance in the light that you recognize as bliss. This light is the reason for your joy, and in light you breathe your fire, as your tail combats all that comes your way, a leering smile catching on your face, because you are bold and daring.
This is the radiance that you truly seek, as a dragon only becomes a real dragon in this pure light. But indeed, the cycles in nature are inevitable, and you must be strong for all outside conditions.
You are one of the half-breeds of existence and formed from the duality of the universe: the yin and yang, the hot and cold, the good and evil. You are but a metaphysical dragon which is your spiritual soul. But it also has a physical half that keeps your soul alive, sheltering the dragon just the same. The physical aspect of your serpent is you as a human being in a different plane.
The other half of you is the human living a mundane life on a war-inflicted earth at this year of 2010, in the middle of buying groceries, snacking on food, or mechanically driving away to your 9-5 job. And this human you, doesn’t really know too much of its other exotic dragon half, but you sense it, as it is a part of every living fiber, every tiny cell of your existence.
Meanwhile, living in the split realities of time-space, your dragon energy within lives inside you, eternally, and of a different parallel universe, existing without really knowing why, dreaming your very same dreams, feeling your ever emotion, instantaneously, innocently.
It lives in a world where all things are possible, just like earth, as it’s dark cave is actually your own heart, glimmering in the very light of your soul, and sulking in the very darkness that shadows your mind. As you walk, it breathes, incidentally stretching its long tail the older you get. The more you mature, the more the dragon’s tail spirals around every little thing you do.
Every bubble of thought, every spoken word, even the trinkets you create are touched by your dragon’s tail, in connection to the body of magic that waits.
Sometimes the tail can be wound so tight around you even, the creativity and magic building so greatly that you can barely breathe, you can barely stand it.
Other times that wound-up coil of tail suddenly releases the tension, giving forth a birth of infinite creation, thrusting out the great potential within the creation of all things. This burst is like an explosion that shakes the universe, reverberating throughout all of time, transcending everything. But this type of letting go is hard to do for your dragon.
It’s the dreams that make its tail grasp every so tight, unwilling to let go.
But the moment the dream is unleashed, the magic of all things unleashes to the wilderness, and you reach the ultimate potential -in this single, perplexing moment. As this happens, the dragon you can be found outside of the dismal cave of restlessness. It is dancing in the light of all things, playing in creation. In just one moment of this splendor, the balance unlocks your true destiny.
Creation gives birth to more creation. Meanwhile, the physical half is dancing too.
At exactly at the right moment of abundance, you as a person smile like a mad hatter, feeling your burdens of life lift like a bag of bricks. The cave vanishes in thin air, and in a parallel world, your cubicles fade to dust. The walls of your confines for both are no more. Instantly, you are free to breathe your fire as the duel creatures of both living, unites into each, to become whole. But once the sun shudders its flock of colors and ducks into the grave of the earth. The stars invite the cold black night to begin a new cycle. Cold sets in and this cold is inevitable. It always gets dark in both worlds. The cold becomes unbearable at a point.
You, as a dragon, begin to grow weary, for there is no fun dancing in the cold dark. At the very same moment, you as a human being, slouch back into a couch to watch television. You, as a dragon, slink back into your cave, to embrace the darkness lurking inside, and this is where you sleep at home, waiting for the dawn to arrive, always dreaming for all things to come.
Every time the light leaves you as a dragon, sadness approaches the end of your tail. It crawls right into the very muscles of your heart, and as you breathe a heaving chest, the sadness weeps.
To keep it company, you feed in the loneliness that the sadness expresses to you, and you swallow the bitter isolation, munching on the splintering pain even when it hurts you just as much. You can’t help but feel sympathetic so the feelings that enter make your magnificent body weak. This darkness bleeds into the very bed you sleep in, as it is an essence that is just as alive as you, waiting for someone to listen to its stories, needing a warm body, wanting love.
This is the hole where your dragon tears drop, staining your ferocious cheeks a pale mildew color. As the color drains, the pain that now lives inside you -sings a soft lullaby, tucking you in, as you seclude yourself for the next cycle of dark years ahead.
You are still a young dragon and your human body is still maturing. You don’t know all things yet, so you battle everyday to gain more understanding.
The mission is to survive in the light and dark of all things true in the nature that exists, for both halves to unite and awaken to your ultimate potential, to fulfill your destiny that waits. The halves are the magical key to unlocking the potential of all things. That is the reason for the existence of the dragon you, the slave of your eternal torment.
Its’ curse is to slumber while only able to experience part happiness, until you are truly awaken yourself on the physical plane, so you can live outside your caves –confines, forevermore.
One day, both dual aspects of the soul and body will learn to fly. You will have the strength to follow the sun wherever it goes and be strong enough to sleep in the dark without being won over by it completely. You will dance in the balance of the universe, rain or shine, confinement or utter freedom, and create more creations of infinite potential by letting go.
Until the day you fulfill this ultimate balance of light and dark, to achieve your own enlightenment, you will harbor this sleeping giant, smoke winding out of volcanic nostrils as it dreams of more. And until you learn how to finally lash out, and become fearless in the unearthly power you hold, to become the half-breed turned whole, you will only treasure momentary bliss.
We are all lairs of these legendary dragon serpents, embodied in skin canvas and preserved as a diamond in the rough. Throughout eternity our energy will be impenetrably contained, fluctuating from releasing to hiding again, moving about and stirring with a flickering tail.
Both will forever waiting to be whole one day, dreaming of freedom at last.
About Author
the Scribe is a secret mystic . A spirituality writer from the U.S, currently living in Mexico and can be reached on www.spiritualworks.weebly.com
Jun 15
STOP THINKING OF YOURSELVES….
“We will tell you what the process is.
Stop thinking of yourselves.
Each and every one of you is so small…
in your investments that are so small.
you forget the magnitude of who and
what you are.
As the Divine Self awakens and
experiences himself/herself in Truth
the small self with her prescriptions
of how things should look and be,
the small behaviours she would like to
attend to, the small self who seeks to
be perceived as improving, will not
be the face in the mirror. What you
will witness and can only see will be
the Truth of what you are, and what
is not in alignment as Truth will no
longer be seen because you cannot
be in resonance with it.”
– The Book of Truth, page 5/6, Understanding Truth 
Paul Selig
www.paulselig.com
Jun 10
Article by Amanda White
“Intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the histories of all people are connected, and we are able to know everything, because it is all written there.” Paulo Coelho – The Alchemist.
As spiritual beings, connected to all things, we are all born with an intuitive gift to read others’ energy and the energy around us. We may seem to be born with great psychic abilities, or we may only get a quiet inner voice telling us if something feels right or wrong, but it is there, in all of us. It is only the intensity of how we experience it which is different. The great thing is, no matter where we are on our journey and in our spiritual practice, listening to our inner voice and sensing the energy in others, can be learned.
I was lucky enough to be raised with the knowledge of there being more to life and the Universe than our limited senses could pick up, which made the whole idea of honing these abilitites easier for me to trust and accept. As an adult I began to practice using my intuition and learned exercises to expand this side of myself. The most important lesson I had learnt and continue to practice, was self-trust and being open to the possibility that we already have these abilities. It is an innate gift, we just have to relearn how to listen to the subtle voice inside and peel back the layers of conditioning which we have received over the years. If we relax, be open and present as often as possible, doors unlock and open wide for the rest to begin flowing freely. Having faith and realising that we can transcend our mental limitations helps us to move with Universal energy, and release the illusion that we are separate from it, helping us to reconnect.
Honing our intuitive abilities, although not essential for Reiki, can greatly aid us in intensifying healing in ourselves and others. Using our intuition frequently when giving treatments, we can sense trauma, whether it is physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. Over time and practice, we can sense the subtle differences between the main energetic bodies which can guide us to where to focus our intent, regardless of where we have placed our hands. I have found during my Reiki practice, that a treatment can have far more powerful results if I zoom in mentally on the specific vibration I have picked up on. Sometimes we may have images, feelings or words pop into our minds which are also there to guide us in our healing work.
Every personal experience is different, so using our intuition helps us to be flexible and allows each treatment to be individual and unique for the recipient, even when working within the guidelines of the system of Reiki.
One example, which I had experienced occurred a year ago. When giving distance healing to a new client, I was guided to surround her mentally with each colour of the chakras, one by one, as I channelled Reiki, something which I had not been guided to do before. When I emailed her to discuss the treatment, she was amazed at what I had relayed to her. She responded by saying that she practiced colour therapy! Following our intuition, we are guided to focus our intent on something that is right for the recipient, and for their highest good. We can trust that the guidance we receive from within is right and needed at that time.
With the use of these exercises, it is possible to increase our intuition. Remember, relax and try not to get frustrated if it’s difficult at first, as with all practice, it takes time, trust in ourselves and patience.
Close your eyes and breathe, and when feeling relaxed, focus on one of your senses. If you choose to focus on what you can hear for example, break each sound down separately and spend time listening to that, drowning out all other noises. Then move mentally to the next sound doing the same. Doing this regularly heightens our ability to notice what we wouldn’t usually and slowly becomes part of our daily lives. We begin then to observe the wonderous little things that we so often miss.
This exercise aids in strengthening the third eye and will make it easier to receive information clairvoyantly. As before, close your eyes and breathe. When feeling relaxed, choose an image to form in your mind’s eye. It could be anything, a familiar object, family member, pet or scene. Then build the picture in your mind, adding layers of detail. It may not be perfect, but with practise, the image will become clearer.
When we ask for guidance, whether we are calling to the Universe, God, our guides/angels or our Higher Selves, whomever we feel supported by, we may be answered in a myriad of ways. By fine-tuning our intuitive abilities, we begin to notice synchronicities more frequently. A great way to test this is to ask for a reference to something random over the coming days, something that is not usually in our daily lives, and ask for this for your highest good, then forget about it. You may get what you asked for in the strangest of ways. It could come in a song we hear, an overheard conversation or even a street name we hadn’t noticed before and if unsure if it was really an answer, ask for the same again and it will come up in another way. The reason that it is a good idea to test it, is to enable more trust in knowing that we will be given what we ask for. So when giving a treatment, if we ask for guidance in how we can help more or to sense what we need to focus on, we will be shown in whichever way is best for us to receive the information, enabling us to tailor it to the recipient’s needs.
Go with your gut feelings. Ask a friend to send a photo of someone to you that you don’t know. After meditating, try and feel the essence of the person, form a story of their life in your mind. Ask your guides questions about this person and trust what you receive. What does that person do for a living? What are their hobbies? Their relation to your friend? See if you are even able to pick up a name. Find and note down any details which are intuitively received, even if the information seems random and unrelated, as it could be symbolic. Then relay the details to your friend and ask them for any verification. It really doesn’t matter if what we receive isn’t correct at first, although it is amazing when we do get something right. It may be that it is something that cannot be verified. Over time, with practice and trust, we find that on each occasion that this exercise is undertaken, it is possible to gain far more correct details and with time, confidence grows.
Amanda J White is a Reiki Master, Intuitive and Freelance Writer. As a member practitioner of the Reiki Academy London, she is qualified in both Usui Shiki Rhoyo and Usui Reiki Rhoyo. Inspired to aid others in their healing and spiritual endeavours after her own journey to wellness, Amanda made healing her full time career. Interested in all things spiritual and creative, Amanda spends her free time immersed in nature, a book or painting. Working from her base in Surrey UK, she is also able to provide distance healing for those unable to see her in person. You can connect with Amanda through her website www.ajreiki.co.uk or through Facebook
Jun 10
There is a power within you that can change the way you see the world. It is your sixth sense, your third eye.
The third eye is not really a part of the physical body. It is part of the second body which is etheric body ( the subtle body or the sukshma sharir).
Your etheric body is a body which is similar to your physical body over which it is superimposed, it has a corresponding spot in the physical body, but it is not part of it.
That is why physiology cannot believe that there exists a third eye or anything like it, because your skull can be analyzed, penetrated, x-rayed, as there is no physical entity which can be said to be the third eye, so far the closest reference scientist discovered on psychical body is the Pineal Gland.
This Secret is something which secret societies and the Illuminati have been knowing for many many years.
The third eye is part of the subtle body, the sukshma sharir.
The third eye allows you to perceive the world beyond the capabilities of your physical senses.
Once the third eye’s power is harnessed, you will be able to see things you have never imagined before, like other people’s auras, you will also be able to see the spiritual dimension and receive clairvoyant messages clearly most especially from your spirit guide.
Basically, it will allow you to see things you have never seen before; hear the divine sounds you haven’t heard before; feel impressions and feelings that you haven’t felt before; realize thoughts and insights which are alien… out of this world..
However, there are many instances when the third eye is blocked. There are various causes to a blockage in the sixth sense and it is important to identify it first so appropriate action can be taken.
Basically, the cause of blockage can be classified in two: blockages caused by yourself or by other people.
Blockage can be also because of past life karmic influence, past lives tragic death or lack of spiritual lifestyle in past lives.
Are you doubting whether you possess a third eye or not? Do you believe it is real? Disbelief can also be a cause to block the sixth sense.
If these are the reasons why you cannot open your third eye, you have to learn to let go and release these negative emotions. They are only blocking you from a spiritual journey that will significantly improve your life.
It is also possible that the blockage can be done by other people. If you have a skeptic friend or relative with a strong disbelief in your spiritual life or taking away your self respect, this may cause a temporary or even a permanent emotional blockage to your intuitive senses.
This is a more complex cause to deal with as it is hard to sway a person’s belief or self respect.
The best option is to create a harmonious relationship with this other person; one that stands on the foundation of respect of each other’s beliefs.
Practice a healthy spiritual and meditative lifestyle, eat more of organic green veggies and fresh fruits and if possible give up on non veg food.
When you have now identified the cause, it is now time to work on unblocking your third eye. Understanding how energy flows through your physical eyes and third eye will enable you to successfully gain control of your sixth sense.
A blocked third eye receives no form of energy; hence, to unblock it, you need to divert energy from other sources to your third eye.
Because of their proximity to the sixth sense, the best source of energy are your two physical eyes. To redirect energy to the third eye, you must first allow your physical eyes to become unseeing.
How do you do this?
Just close your eyes and focus your eyes on the forehead, exactly where the two eyes meet. With closed eyes, focus there for few seconds, initially and then maybe a minute or more latter, channeling your energy to your forehead where your sixth sense is located.
As you focus on that part between your two eyes with eyes closed, allow your two physical eyes to stop moving. If they are static, they require no energy to function thus allowing the energy to flow to the next nearest location, your third eye.
You may not be successful in unblocking your third eye on the first time but with constant practice, you will finally be able to pass some energy to your sixth sense.
www.consciousreminder.com
Jun 05
Dear ones, this is the great unveiling! It’s shaping up to be quite a season of transformative action isn’t it? We applaud you aplomb and wonder how long it will take you to see your own glorious part in all of this. It does not matter of course, but we are curious about you as well! So what I can tell you is this; it is your propensity to be kind to one another and start allowing the other to be yourself. You are of course familiar with my adage, do unto others that which you do unto yourselves. This needs revision of the translation: that translation is for a different time and a different human, and you are not the same as before. Remember this. You are a new you. So let’s make it be to yourself as you are to others. You are the other of course and there is no distinction, be yourself. Be. There is a lot of power in those few words. Words are tricky of course but the heart speaks its own language and when you speak to each other through the language of love, there veils will fall. There will be no separation. You are from where I sit, simply one great orchestrated symphony of the energy that is dancing and playing around. You are trying on robes and wigs and hats and assigning roles to each other, but ultimately you are one United as one piece of the whole part and the whole part is one piece of all of you. It’s is interwoven like a beautifully spun tapestry. You are not millions of threads, though you are, you are a vital component in the bigger picture in the grand design. You are wondering why I keep mentioning your role in all of this and pointing out your power. Well dear ones as many of you realize more of who and what you truly are, others are having much difficulty at this time, and that frustration in duality reverberate through the entire tapestry. As I told you; you are interwoven. So be patient with “other people” and yourself because this is a challenging time of transformation. Send love everywhere you walk and watch as things start to become light-er and easier and full of love. Change means often old must fall away. Bless it and allow it to. Embrace your new live and your new self. That is all for now dear one. Kindness in every step you walk and we are rooting for you! With love
Jun 01
Good morning! Do you like to dance? Da da da da da da da tap tap dahhh (jazz hands!) haha yes you are in partnership with your planet and aligning fully within yourselves and your universe! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED LIKE THIS BEFORE. We are sorry to use all caps but we want to Emphasize the newness of the new! You are doing the two step with your inner and outer world. You are learning the steps slowly and sometimes you need to restart as anyone learning a new skill would. One two three one two three one two whoops, restart but that is ok! How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Yes practice practice practice! And in the word practice we mean focused intent action to arrive at a goal through joy and movement. You are dancing with your soul and how wonderful it is! Soon your two step will be a waltz and you will be gliding gracefully around your world, which is now inner inner outer inner inner inner outer. The worlds are one more than ever before. The emphasis here is joy! You wanted to learn to dance! You signed up for lessons. Some are frustrated at their progress saying “I’ll never get it” and feeling ready to quit. Remember why you wanted to dance in the first place. Why are you here now? Can you commune with your inner heart and ask your soul, why did you want to be here now? See what answer comes up. Trust that answer. The “answers” you seek are all coming from within, within, within. One two three, one two three, one two three and smile! With all of our love in this new grand ballroom of life, amen. 💃🏻
Jun 01
Finally I remember what I wanted to write about and share for so long. I think I had to get to a space of better understanding before I could do so. I also had some lovely remote energy work done by Kelly Trombly who owns the Divine Energy Center in NY state. I did read about the type of energy work she is trained in but honestly could not explain it here. Let me just say that it helped with my down in the dumps grief (in a way that is hard to put into words right now), and I am sure it’s helping my physical body, although that’s something I will see results with more slowly. Thank you again, Kelly.
Before it leaves me again, let me continue. You all have heard me speak many times about the Christ Consciousness. Jesus was a Christed being, so was the Buddha. I’m sure there were others. You recognize them not only through their mastery but also through their pure, unconditional love for all that is. It still perplexes me that Jesus’ entire story was about Love, and yet, people still kill and commit violence in his name. That’s a separate story though.
I can honestly say (and have said) that I did not truly understand Love until Erin’s body died. The irony does not escape me. And I capitalize Love because I mean real, actual love from the heart. Not romantic love (which is really just lust), not conditional love (I love you but…), just pure, unadulterated Love. It’s a different feeling and you feel it square in your heart center. That’s about the only way I can put it into words. It’s not just me that is beginning to embody this Christ Consciousness either. People all over the world are having their lives changed and their hearts opened. And I wonder, are they experiencing what I am experiencing?
By the way, by embodiment I mean it’s within you. You live it, breathe it, feel it. Are you perfect? Hell no. But you feel differently – about every thing. Literally everything and everyone. And hey, I don’t know what Jesus really said but even whomever wrote it down gave us the message. The way to god is through me – and he was Christ Consciousness embodied on earth. And by the way – the entire idea of god is Love, no matter what philosophy or religion you are talking about. It’s not separate – it is within you. The verse may have been a good puzzle but I understand it now.
So on with my story…after this happened within me, I began what I assume many religions would call a hellish experience and what I call a life review. When I say hellish, I don’t mean because of the obvious and you will understand once I finish here. Life reviews happen after you die, supposedly but according to age old sources and people who have had NDE’s as well. And I began to wonder, why in the hell am I experiencing this while I am alive? At first it just seemed cruel, but then I realized there must be a purpose.
Many non-religious people believe that the Ascension is near. Religious people believe the Rapture is near. Either way it’s basically the same type of thing, different names and slightly different narratives. But the narrative for either is that you can’t carry your baggage with you to wherever it is that you are going. Christians call it being washed in the blood (the soul cleansing blood of the lamb – one of my old time favorite hymns!). Ascension minded people work to clear emotional baggage and make amends. I guess Catholics (who yes, are also Christians) save it for Purgatory but they have to atone nonetheless. By the way – ATONE > AT ONE. See, there are clues and synchronicities everywhere.
At any rate, I have had almost 3 years of constant torture (hell). If I ever said an unkind thing or committed an unkind action towards you, believe me I have thought of it and paid for it in sorrow. They come up randomly, and it’s part of the PTSD that I experience in living color and sound and everything else. Many of them have come up over and over, and yes, I have horrible sorrow every time as I relive it and see how horribly I acted. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know better then, or was having a bad day, or whatever. I did/said those things. I should be punished. I am being punished.
But I’m also learning. Recently, and this is the reason I began to ponder this, I found myself within these living visions changing the narrative. I was saying what I wished I had said. I was apologizing. I was kind and loving. And I thought…but wait…this isn’t real. I can’t change what I did. Or can I?
I also did not know that I had all of this baggage following me around. I did years of emotional clearing work in the late 90’s and it lifted huge burdens. I guess it lifted so much I had no idea what I was carrying, even as it continued to pile up from my transgressions. I did not feel ill will towards much of anyone, but that didn’t stop me from creating it through unkind words and actions. Now I know. I have learned, and I have seen the value of the lessons. What I have not yet figured out is how to continue to take the responsibility while also forgiving myself. Or as I learned so many years ago, releasing myself from blame.
As you can see I don’t have all of the answers, but I do see that what I have been going through is something special. I wonder if others are doing the same? Those on the path of the Christ Consciousness anyway. The methods may be different but the result would be the same. I would love to hear from you. I would also love to know what you think this means. Clearly it’s a preparation of some sort for what comes next. The next place, or period.
If you are wondering about my health…right now I feel like crap and that’s why I haven’t written in several days. I took a lovely trip for the night to visit with family but I stayed up too late, and apparently caught someone’s bug. You know you are in shitty shape when staying up 2 hours or so past bedtime ruins your next day. LOL I am learning to be gentle with myself physically. Perhaps emotionally will come later.
Oh, and yes, Mother’s Day sucked. I ran from it. Thank you to everyone who took the time to send me a note. It really helps more than I can put to words.
Namaste, and #missingerin
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