On May 9th of this year we took cat to the vets, he was dying, he had stopped eating, he had started lying under the furniture instead of wanting to be on top, there was no more king of the domain, he was slipping away.
Per the vet he would be started immediately on insulin injections twice a day, fluids, an x-ray, surgery after an ultrasound, then an extended stay in the clinic. This was about cats last days of life, which I knew in my heart were not meant to be spent in a sterile environment of strangers.
Cat belongs to my daughter Siegrid, she is currently with Jason, my son in law and grandsons where they are stationed in South Korea, I called her, it was 3am in SK, and we had to make a decision about Cat. Everyone was crying, Cat was only 13, how could this be. Siegrid found him newly born, wet and crying on a sidewalk in Texas, brought him into her home and raised him from day one. He had moved around the country with her always adapting to his new homes, owning the neighborhoods.
We cried, our hearts ached but we decided to allow him to transition. I told the vet we were not going to do the insulin, no surgery; I was going to take him home. She didn’t understand, she was ready to euthanize him. I said no, Cat and I knew what needed to be done and he was coming home with me.
I was left with an overwhelming sadness that there was no hope; I took Cat home to die. I was beside myself with grief, Cat was calm, he meowed at the door and asked to go out, and I let him out. I knew he was going to go into the woods and lay down, I probably wouldn’t find him, nor see him again. I left him alone until dusk then I went outside calling for him. He appeared out of nowhere, I didn’t hear him walking through the grass, at that point I started calling him the ghost cat. He came in for the night sleeping under the table. The next day the same thing, outside for the day, I called at dusk but he didn’t come this time, I started looking for him, I found him under a skunk cabbage next to the stream. I brought him in for the night; we were in the middle of some cold and rainy nights. The third day cat moved to another part of the stream, again I brought him in. The next day it was cold and rainy so we sat together in a chair. The vet called to let me know the radiologist saw a blockage, she would skip the $450.00 ultrasound and do exploratory surgery for a $1000.00. She said because of his age she was 75% sure she would have to euthanize him after the surgery. I said no, we will get through this, Cat and I together. She asked me to bring him in to the clinic anytime and she would euthanize him.
I told cat I wanted him to live, wow was I being selfish, I told him there was so much we needed to do together, to learn from each other, why did he need to leave right now when everyone that wants to see him one last time are so far away.
He would drink fresh water every day, food he wasn’t interested in as I watched him grow thinner and thinner. I started the BioEnergy work with him, the first session he couldn’t figure out what he was feeling, by the fourth session he was looking forward to our energy connection. I would sit with him after the energy session and connect with him, thinking the way he was thinking, so calm and so patient. No fear, an understanding that his body was shifting, peacefully watching from the chair as the world went on.
We needed this time, pure love that comes from the heart. I sat with him with all my attention/intentions to listen to him, to understand, to enjoy the way he loves being petted under the chin, to enjoy the way he doesn’t like being petted anywhere else. To know that when I am petting him today it is more important than the computer or work I should be doing, the computer/work will be there tomorrow but today may be the last day I share a loving intimate moment with Cat. When I walk by the chair and he isn’t there I will know /remember how we used to sit together. I love Cat, I love that he is a cat and not a cat personified into a human personality, it was very hard at first, but as I watch him he is teaching me so much; how to let go, how to love him just the way he is and to allow him this natural process. He has held steady to who he is, dignified.
Our heart to heart connection and BioEnergy have created a miracle in my world; today is day 47, Cat continues to thrive, and he has caught his first mouse and ate half of it, leaving the other half for me under the dining room table. He had an off day where he was lying around more than usual, I went to check on him and found he took a small bag of catnip off the table and was rolling around in it, and had consumed a good part of it!
We sit on the couch every evening after dinner, where we exchange healing energy, loving each other.
